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2008-12-21T08:06:24Z

Please friend me at my new journal, sidewalk_icons!

Running With Scissors 1/?

2008-02-13T08:10:41Z

Title: Running With Scissors 1/?
Author: bitchxjerk
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Swearing.
Pairing: Jared/Sandy
Characters: Jared P/Chad M/Sandy M/Jensen A/Tom W/Michael R/OMC
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, although some are.

"Oh good god you are such a fucking idiot!" Jared yells as he slams the door shut and walks out into the blistering hotness, there's so much heat that it's making rippling waves in the air. There are flies, the scent of sweat, the ground's dusty and rocky and this is just great.

"What? What? What did I fucking do?" Chad steps out and throws his arms up in defence, brows creased with frustration.

"You drove us into a goddamn ditch! That's what you did!" he replies and paces around, feet kicking up dust as he runs a hand through his sweat streaked hair.

"Tire's out," Chad observes as he bends over to examine it. He sighs and kicks a rock on the ground.

"Yeah damn right it is, thanks for pointing that out Mr Obvious," Jared says sarcastically as he leans against the car, trying to cool himself off.

It's boiling here and they're just driving into Los Angeles from their road trip and stupid Chad blew out the tires and if they call for a tow truck, god knows when it will come. Dumb Chad. Jared had insisted that he should drive but it's his thick head and that's why they're stuck here, leaving Jared wondering if he's going to die young at twenty-five of heat exhaustion and thirst.

"Got any water?" Chad croaks, voice all dry. "No.. even if I did have water, I wouldn't give you any," he says and the older man scowls and looks away.

"You're an ass hat,"

"And you're a douche-face," Jared shoots back and pulls out his cell phone to try and call for a tow truck. He almost shouts and throws the phone into the dirt when he finds that there's no reception, but he's too nice for that so he leaves all the ballistic crazy shit to Chad.

"God we're going to be here for days, we're marooned Jay, pretty soon we're going to eat cactus and road kill's shit," Chad whines and flops onto the ground in a hopeless heap.

"Hey don't say that, someone will drive through and see us because I am so not eating road kill shit, I'm leaving that to you," Jared sighs and opens the car door and grabs his candy supply.

"Hey gimme some of that greedy bastard," Chad snatches it away and holds it against his chest like a bratty kid. "Have it, snitch. I always got spares," he says and takes out a chicken sandwich he bought at a petrol station a few hours ago and a pack of gummy bears.

Chad stares at it like it's the hottest chick ever. "Don't even think about it," he shakes his head and sits down about five metres away from him and eats quietly.

"Don't worry, there will be help. I mean some dude will drive pass and pick us up," Jared reassures as he throws out all the soggy tomatoes. Chad looks like he wants to crawl over and eat them off the ground.

"Let's fucking hope so,"

* 2 Hours Later

They're practically fucking marooned. The packets of lollies and every source of food is all eaten up. In the past two hours only five damn cars drove past and none of them even bothered to even stop. Nice people these days. Jared leans against the car and watches Chad.

Stupid Chad that it would be really nice and satisfying to punch because he's been whining and complaining like it's all Jared's fault, not his, that he drove into ditch and got the tires blown out.

"I'm so tired! You got water? What kind of person doesn't bring water on a fucking___

"Dude, you've asked that three times, yeah and that dumb ass kind of person is you, now shut the hell up and sit there like a normal human being!" Jared snaps and stands up as he opens the car door.

"Dude where are you going? Are you trying to drive with the tires flat?" he follows close like a puppy. Idiot, he thinks and shakes his head.

Jared takes out a box of Chips Ahoy value pack and Chad gapes. "What the fuck dude?! You didn't tell me about this? For two hours that I was fucking starving? You rat! You freaking rat__,"

"Hey you're the one that wanted to keep in shape for that movie so don't pile all the shit on me! And hey remember you were the one driving! Not me! So fat chance asshole!"

"It's a critical situation arse face! Fucking cookie muncher!"

"Thanks! I take that as a compliment," Jared smiles steps away from him. "Give me some, there's like sixty in that box! It's a value pack!" Chad lunges for it but Jared's too quick and turns away.

Chad grips the box and they both wrestle for it that they don't even see or hear a sleek black car stopping. "You guys need a ride?"

Both guys whirl around and Chad, who's in possession of the cookie box drops it in the dirt.

There's a petite girl in her early twenties and she's standing with her hands on her hips, curves and all, she's in a fitting white dress and Jared doesn't mean to ogle her olive skin, dark hair that falls down her back and pretty brown eyes and lips.

"Uhh... yeah, that'd be nice, thanks," Jared smiles and she motions them to go into the car. "One of you have to sit in the front because I have all my things there, sorry," she apologises and opens the drivers door.

Jared bumps into Chad as he makes his way to the front sit, Chad rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath before climbing into the backseat of the car.

"So Jared and Chad from TV?" she asks and Chad smiles proudly and nods. "Yep, what's your name?”

She laughs and looks at him strangely from the mirror. "No I‘m a dancer and model, Sandra McCoy," she smiles and Jared remembers her. She had some small rolls in CSI and stuff.

"Oh I remember you... you were that... chick," Chad smiles in satisfaction and licks his lips. Jared rolls his eyes.

"Right... yes. Umm... you guys look hungry, you wanna grab some lunch? On me?" she asks and turns to face Jared, flashing him a coy smile.

"Lunch? Lunch would be great, you're an angel," Chad says, charm oozing from his tone as he rubs his hands together. He's being his usual flirty self, probably trying to sleep with her. No strings attached. He's known Chad for too long to look past things.

They stop at a little diner and Chad starts scanning through the menu and ordering everything he can. He's also sitting next to her because before they went in the diner he shoved Jared out of the way.

Sandra sips her coffee and talks and books with Jared. She's charming, sweet, real funny, charismatic and she has an adorable laugh. She's also real pretty so that Chad stares at her alot. She doesn't seem to mind. She pretend she doesn't see it but it's obvious.

"So do you still act?" Jared asks as he sips his strawberry milkshake which Chad sniggered immaturely about when he ordered. "Yeah, a little now and then, I mean I've got this indie film and a little project to do," she nods and smiles. "So what about you? You guys have a girlfriend?"

Jared laughs. "Umm.. no.. not for a long time," Jared shakes his head and smiles.

"Not me, I'm single, more than I've ever been," Chad spreads out his arms.

“Oh wow, okay,” Sandra says and Jared nods and looks at her, eyes shifting from her mouth to her eyes and stopping at every point to take in everything. She notices him looking and smiles at him.

"So where do you guys live?"

"Creston Drive," Jared answers. "Oh that's great, I live like 2 streets away from you," Sandra smiles, eyes shining.

"Ummm... what's that?" she asks suddenly. Jared and Chad exchanges weird looks.

"What's what?" Jared asked.

"I felt something rubbing my leg," she answers and brushes it off like it's nothing and he admires her self restraint, she's so laid back and if it was some other girl, she'd probably a) rub back or b) kick Chad in the nuts and call him a fat hairy perve.

"So Jared tell me about yourself," she leans forwards and plays with her straw. "I have two dogs, I haven't been in a relationship for 10 months... I.. umm... like cookies," he stutters because right now she's focusing all of her attention on him.

God how lame does he sound?

"Oh he's gay too," Chad pipes up with a smile. Jared kicks him under the table and suppresses the urge to call him a dick face.

"You are....?" Sandra’s eyes widened and he thinks that he saw a glimmer of disappointment flashing in her eyes but maybe he's just imagining things.

"No he's just joking around, I'm not gay," Jared smiles, then elbows the fucker next to him when she's looking out the dirty window of the diner.

"So you guys ready to go home?" she asks as she wipes her hands on a tissue. "Ummm not yet, first of all, I need your number so if my car breaks down again,"

In case he drives into a ditch again? Jared laughs at the thought. If Chad got her number, he'll make sure he drives into a ditch every time, or slash his own tires even. That idiot would do anything to see a pretty girl.

She starts laughing softly. "I don't think your car will break down , because I know this great car mechanic and I'm going to give you his number, not mine," Sandra smiles and Jared tries not to laugh in Chad's face.

Chad getting turned down by a girl? Well that's a first. He's also really intrigued by her as well. She keeps surprising him and she's so.... different.

"So now that we've settled that, let's go?"

"Here we are, Creston Drive," Sandra smiles as she pulls up in Jared's driveway. "Thankyou so much for everything," Jared says and she smiles again and bites her lip. "It's okay, glad I could help,"

"Yeah you're a goddess too," Chad pats her on the shoulder and Jared knows he's forcing 'and you look like one too' down his throat, along with his spit.

"Okay, you guys have a nice night and don't drive into a ditch again," she says as they climb out of her car. Chad waves and walks into the house but Jared stands by the car and she opens her window.

"You want to come in and have coffee or something? I mean that's the least I could do after what you did," he offers and she chuckles.

"I got to go a casting, but thanks, maybe next time. I'll see you around," Sandra says and drive off. And she sounds pretty damn sure of it.

bitchxjerk @ 2007-12-14T14:10:00

2007-12-14T03:24:26Z

MOVED! SINCE I WANTED TO START FRESH AND THIS JOURNAL IS JIBBY, ICONS ARE MOVED TO SIDEWALK_ICONS.

bitchxjerk @ 2007-11-26T19:19:00

2007-11-26T08:43:23Z

12 Hayden icons
5 Vanessa Anne Hudgens Icons
4 Kristen Bell icons
4 Clemence Poesy icons
5 Rachel Bilson icons
4 Katie Cassidy icons
5 Leighton Meester icons

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bitchxjerk @ 2007-11-18T20:05:00

2007-11-18T09:14:19Z

[ 4 Willa Holland icons
[ 4 Jessica Alba icons
[ 30 VS 2007 Show icons

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bitchxjerk @ 2007-11-15T18:45:00

2007-11-15T08:29:06Z

[ SPN - Red Sky At Morning icons
[ VS Angels 2005 VS Show icons 16]

x credit if use
x comment if take
x enjoy!

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bitchxjerk @ 2007-11-08T15:20:00

2007-11-08T04:36:04Z

[ 11 Abigail Clancy icons 001-011]
[ 5 Jacinda Barrett icons 012-016]
[ 3 Mischa Barton icons 017-019]
[ 2 Vanessa Hudgens icons 020-021]
[ 9 Supernatural 3x05 icons 022-030]
[ 6 Grey's Anatomy icons 031-037]
[ 6 Sophia Bush in The Hitcher 038-043]

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Grey'sAnatomy/Haley Bennett/Jessica Alba/Taylor Momsen

2007-10-21T02:11:58Z

[ 11 Grey's Anatomy icons]
[ 8 Haley Bennett icons]
[ 25 Jessica Alba icons]
[ 7 Taylor Momsen icons]

x credit if use
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x enjoy

G R E Y ' S A N A T O M Y

H A L E Y B E N N E T T



J E S S I C A   A L B A







T A Y L O R M O M S E N

SPN FIC

2007-10-19T09:43:47Z

title: Drifting Dust
author: bitchxjerk
rating: PG-13
genre: angst/romance
pairing: sam/ofc
disclaimer: all fiction
character: sam/dean/ofc
summary: She's a bitch.

She's far and out of touch, just like someone you want to know but brush past in the street. Unreachable. At first he doesn't like her. She's a real bitch sometimes. Talks alot, complains, whines and insults him. The only reason she's here and the only reason he chose not to kick her off the hunt is because she's Bobby's daughter.

Dean likes her though. Because she's pretty. Blue eyes and dark hair and perfect little nose.

She cleans her gear so perfectly that it glosses, he notices because he watches her when she's angry and brooding. Lips pressed in a tight thin line and brows furrowed.

Sam chuckles and her head snaps up like she knows that little laugh is about her. He shrugs it off and she looks back down.

"It's not the end of the world," he sighs. She's like a small child sometimes but most of the time she's just tough and bitchy.

"In your brother's case it might be,"

Sam knows she's right about some of the things he argues with her about. He just doesn't admit it, doesn't want her to be satisfied. Doesn't want her to smile, wants her to cringe and roll her eyes, but when things get tough, all he wants to see is a faint smile or hear a snicker or her evil laugh.

He doesn't really want to be nice to her. Really. And he doesn't want to ask her things he doesn't know that she does know. Because he doesn't want to think he's trying to be nice to her, sucking up to her.

They drive most nights without stopping, Sam usually looks in the back to see if she's asleep.

And she is, head tilted back with her pretty mouth hanging open. He smiles.

"She's a bitch to me, she always makes fun of me," Sam says as he flops down on the bed next to do, a pile of books in his arms, he sets them down and dusts his hands and he can hear Dean chuckle softly. "Well Sam she's doing her job,"

"Which means she has to be like that?"

"Do you like her?" Dean asks, eyebrows raised.

"No," he says flatly and opens his mouth again. "I don't know.... maybe,"

Dean smiles and doesn't say anything further.

She's complaining again. About how he messed up on the last mission, how she almost got killed. In his head her voice sounds like an annoying squeaky toy. She's playing with knives and when she accidentally cuts her finger.

She swears under her breath and acts like nothing's wrong, even though the cut is pretty deep and she's dripping red everywhere.

Sam sighs and cleans her up.

He's kicking back with Bobby, they're leaning against the Impala, watching Dean and her torch up a corpse. She leans over, watches the flames flick and folds her arms which a streaked with dirt and her skin is soaked with sweat.

Her hair looks dirty and her nose has brown marks of soil on it. Too many dirty jobs. "You take care of her Sam," Bobby says.

She can take care of herself , is what Sam wants to say but he keeps the word lingering in his throat. He clears his throat. "Yeah I will,"

There's citrus juice sliding down her arms and becoming warm and sticky on her fingers and palms. She doesn't care. She eats. Squeezes the pulp even, creating more mess. It's a hot day and they're taking a break near a petrol station.

The air smells like citrus mixed in with kerosene. He leans against the car, head buried in a book until she flicks something at him and an orange skin lands on his book.

It splatters wet faded orange marks. Smells bittersweet and he frowns and he disposes it on the ground. She doubles over with laughter. "Oh now you laugh?"

She shakes her head, stomps her foot, clutching her stomach and she drags her hands down the side of her jeans as she wipes them clean. He cringes.

"Scared to get dirty Sam?" she asks, head cocked to the side, smirk hanging off her lips. He bends down, picks the orange peel off the ground and throws it at her when she doesn't expect it. It hits her right in the forehead and she squeals and jumps back with a shocked expression on his face.

Sam laughs loudly in her face, he likes that expression on her face right now. No smiling. Just a disgusted shocked look.

Dean gets really hurt on one hunt, so she carefully cleans him up. Masks all his wounds and he's alright now, just resting in bed of the musty old motel room. She takes a seat next to him. "Thought he was dead meat,"

"Dean? Nahhh..." he scratches the back of his head and sighs.

"And you would be because you're such a pansy sometimes, can't even fight," she snorts and Sam rolls his eyes.

They have this stupid little childish fight over it when they finish, he slams her against a wall and kisses her.

Smiling shows everywhere now, on his and her face. But Dean's. Just creased and curious brows.

She laughs as he puts an arm around her. Dean is staring at them like he knows something is up and he's been staring at them hard for the past half hour like he knows. Like he knows that there's too much fucking going around here and not much work either.

Stares like he wants to ask many questions but doesn't. He dissapears into the bar later and leave the two alone. "Not going to leave, I want to be with you," she says and smiles.

Smiles like a promise.

She's got her bags packed because she's going with her old man, she's leaving and turning different ways. She packs hard. Shoves clothes and things into a duffel bag with quick, rough movements. He kind of hates her right now.

Because she's pretending it never happened. Like sweaty bodies never collided. And she can just brush past him without a single word, without a single breath. Just like that.

She steals this white towel from a motel and squeezes that in too. He leans against a wall and watches her with observant green eyes but she's acting like she's the only one in the room. That he isn't even there.

Pretending.

She heaves that duffel on her shoulder and her eyes meet his gaze. He smiles softly but she doesn't, her face is grim. Serious, and it scares him almost. "G'bye Sam, I'll see you around," she says and shoulders past him.

He thinks about how he hates her right now, thinks about that night in the car where she says she's not leaving. Yet now she's almost out the door. She turns her head and looks at him.

He'd give anything for a smile right now.

Gossip Girl Icons: The Daredevil 1.05

2007-10-19T06:49:12Z

[40 Gossip Girl icons: The Daredevil ]

x credit if use
x comment if take
x enjoy :)

SPN Icons "The Kids Are Alright" 3.02

2007-10-17T06:37:49Z

27 Icons

x credit if use
x comment if take
x enjoy

bitchxjerk @ 2007-10-12T09:45:00

2007-10-12T02:33:38Z

Elisha Cuthbert [8]
Monica and Penelope Cruz [12]
Emily Browning [10]
Miranda Kerr [9]

elisha::



monica&penelopecruz::




emilybrowning::



mirandakerr::

Look But You Can't Touch 1/1

2007-10-07T06:19:31Z

Look But You Can't Touch
author: bitchxjerk
genre: angst/romance
pairing: jared/ofc
characters: jared/ofc/omc/chad michael murray
rating: PG-13
disclaimer: do not own jared and chad! all fiction!
summary: A story about Jared struggling to tell someone__

Her house is like a modern apartment building, tucked around the corner of a court, it's nothing spectacular, sloping roofs, wall to wall glass and the blinds are closed and out the front is a few messy brown scrubs and abandoned hedges.

Jared rings the doorbell and hears clattering and the door swings open and she's smiling brightly and clutching a towel close to her tiny body. "Come in, yeah.. hey... I know it's a little messy but I'm going to ge to it," she says and he shoulders past her and laughs. "You always say that,"

"This time I'm going to do it," she says but he's not buying it because he knows the second he leaves she's going to kick that crumpled piece of paper under the couch and call it a day. He knows her too well and it's only been one year since they've met.

She's his friend and they met a year ago on really stupid accounts that he doesn't want to recall, and she's all that, smart, sarcastic, witty and hilarious but really she's soft and dainty and so goddamn pretty that it feels like meeting her for the first time again when he looks at her. It never gets old, seriously.

They're really good friends as in totally and completely understanding each other's need of space and privacy but sometimes they get too close, a little too personal that if he didn't know better he'll think that he's in love with her for that one moment and he'll probably find it hard sleeping that night. But really, they're way past that. Just absolutely and totally.

"Hey what are you staring at?". Okay except maybe that. She's waving a hand in front of his face and he snaps back to reality. "Nothing... hey you should come with me today," he smiles it off and makes a note not to do that again. She blinks at him and smiles back. "Sure about that big boy? I mean I don't want to interfere with your work," she says and throws day-old laundry into a basket.

"No come on it'll be fun,"

"Oh well... it better be,"

They arrive at the set of his new movie, it's this indie-film that Chad laughs at him for doing but he thinks it's something new and different to his previous roles, which is fine because he wants to try something new. She sits on one of those lawn chairs out in the sun and today is an exceptionally good day, warm and sunny so no one is bundled up like the last two weeks. Plus there's always coffee. And he knows how much she loves coffee, that she can't go a day without it.

She's laughing now, mingling with his co-star, waving her small hands in the air, eyes shining as that sweet laughter sounds. And she's this petite little thing, perfectly built with brown eyes, a small tapered waist, pink heart shaped lips and glowy skin in a moisturiser commercial type of way which is really nice to touch.

Which he once did when they were out one night, really tipsy and he wasn't thinking straight. He swears he wasn't thinking straight and then she turned around and punched him.

Oh and his co-star happens to be the quiet the ladies man, you know, charming smile and real good looking in a male-model way and when he doesn't shave the make-up girls says it's rugged and sexy. But she doesn't seem to be into him in any sort of way, not that he cares whether she does like him or not.

She looks over in his direction and their eyes meet but she quickly turns away.

She's in his kitchen, wiping down the bench and washing the dishes in swift fast movements. She's wearing this stupid apron, the one with the unfunny, gross slogan on it that he got as a gift and he didn't like but never threw it away because he felt bad. And Jared has to admit, she looks adorable in it.

She's humming a song quietly like it's a secret and she doesn't want him to hear it. Jared watched as her as he digs into his food. She stacks the plates, turns on her feet and wipes and rinses, unties the apron and hangs it on a hook, turns around in her little white dress that's seriously complimenting her skin and smiles.

"I feel like I'm your personal maid," she flops down next to him with a soft sigh, "Aahhh... that's not true, why do you clean my house and not your own?" he rolls his eyes and looks at her. "I have no idea why," she smiles and laughs a little and the sound is warm and familiar.

There's soft golden light spilling through his kitchen window and it catches the shine of her hair, the hair that falls around her small delicate face, he wants to reach out and touch it, feel the silk of her hair slip through his fingers and let his fingertips brush her soft cheek.

But he doesn't. Of course. he just keeps his hands where they are, close to his side, balled into a tight fist. Resisting.

It's late and Chad is over, he's got his two feet up on the coffee table and he looks half-dead but it's probably because he's shitfaced drunk. Jared almost laughs at this and he's looking at Chad's face, wondering if he should take a picture that might come in handy for black mail when the he starts laughing at the TV.

"Dude, you're wasted," Jared laughs a little and shakes his head. "No I'm not," the older man shakes his head and runs a hand through his short corn-coloured hair. "So how are you going? What's up? How are you? What has been happening in your life?"

Jared laughs at this. Admit it or not, Chad is kind of a douche and an asshole sometimes. Asshole as in the time Jared's car broke down in the middle of the road and Chad had texted 'Wish you were here' in mockery. Don't get him wrong, he's a good friend but he really doesn't make sense sometimes.

He snorts. "Dude you should've asked that three hours ago, like when you came into my house?". "Answer the question old fart," Chad ignores his comment and kicks a beer bottle off the table, it rolls to the ground and makes a clinking sound as it hits the wall. "Fine thankyou, what about you? Older fart,"

"I know your secret,"

"Oh yeah, because you're Chad the genius,"

Chad's being crazy again, and kind of paranoid, coming up with theories and asking weird police interrogation kind of questions that has Jared thinking he's on drugs or something. "Okay... so what's my secret huh?" Jared challenges and sips his beer. "Don't deny it you dog, I see right through you and in___

"Chad, you can stop with the madam-fortune-teller thing, cut to the chase and tell me what you know. I mean... what am I 'hiding'?" he makes quotes with his fingers. "Alright, don't be hasty___ you like her don't you? Your friend, that brunette," he wiggles his eyebrows immaturely that makes Jared laugh but it totally is seen as the laugh of denial that he wasn't intending on doing.

"Deny all you like, but I know what you can do my Jared," Chad shakes a finger at Jared, he doesn't do anything, he just sits and stares at him. Good god, Chad is unbelievable sometimes. "Tell her and stop being a coward because when she's gone, you'll regret it and it'll hurt,"

"Are you this deep and meaningful person when you're drunk?" Jared sniggers but Chad glares at him. "What are you talking about? I've always been deep and meaningful," he holds a hand to his chest like he's hurt that his best friend would think differently of him. "Whatever dude," he turns off the TV to receive another glare.

"I was watching that___ anyway now that we've established the fact that you DO like her let's get onto___. "Hey wait... what? I never said I like her!" he says and he has to admit to himself that he sounds ridiculous and almost childish, and unfortunately, Chad thinks so too. "Sissy,"

"Whatever okay, even if I did like her I would never tell her because that would be stupid since she doesn't like me, we're friends,"

"She totally likes you man! Come on!" Chad yawns and gives Jared a pleading look. "But you haven't met her before so how would you know?"

"Ohhh.... right,"

Tuesday morning is colder than yesterday, but the sun is shining so Jared's not complaining, he's too worried about what Chad said last night to be concerned about the weather. It's lunch time and he's walking with her across the road to get coffee because he feels sorry for the P.A that's been running back and forth for the past half hour.

"So how are you going? With everything?" he asks stupidly as he sidesteps a puddle of water. She looks up at him. "Fine... you know, cleaning out my house out, finally,"

"Good to hear, so anything new coming up?" Jared puts an arm around her as they enter, the warmness floating around them and the smell of coffee lingering in the air. "I'm going to San Diego to study," she smiles brightly.

"What? I mean... wow.. that's great? When...? How long?" he stutters and feels all helpless and she laughs and puts her hand on his chest, over his heart. "A year or so... I'm leaving next month, I'm glad you're happy for me,"

"I am... it's great news but hey__," he says, voice raspy like it hurts to talk. "Yeah?" she whips around, her dark hair flying as she looks at him with wide eyes. Waiting.

"Nothing, it's not important, let's just get coffee,"

He thinks about her that night, she's leaving and if he doesn't tell her any sooner, she'll be gone and who knows what will happen for a year, he could meet someone new or even worse, she could. She might even be married for all he knows. For the first time in a long time, Chad's right. He has to tell her.

And this was definitely no crush he has on her. But he would be a bit glad if it was a crush, so if she leaves he'll be let down easy. There's a dry ache in his chest and he doesn't want to let her go, doesn't want her to leave.

He loves her too much.

Jared's mama Sharon is in his kitchen, just a few hours ago he picked her up at the airport. She's told him last week that she wants to fly over and visit because she wants to see her boy again, see how he's doing and all. She's cooking now and Jared feels safe and warm like he's 15 again.

The smell of old spices smells familiar and he remembers the last time he was back home. "So Jared, got into any trouble lately?" she raises an eyebrow at him jokingly and he laughs. "Kind of, but it's nothing serious," Jared shrugs and bites into her famous meat pie. "Tell me what is it, maybe I can help," she wipes her hands on a tea towel and then focuses her gaze on him.

"It's this girl, I've been close friends with her since last year," he says after awhile and his mama, the one who knows him too well smiles knowingly. "You're in love with her aren't you?"

Jared doesn't answer, he doesn't have to answer, she already knows too well. "I want to tell her, but I can't... she's leaving next month for San Diego," he sighs. "Oh Jared... you have to, if you really love her, then you have to let her know. Tell her,"

His thoughts are interrupted by a ring at the doorbell, he jumps off the chair and opens the door to face her. "Hey, are you busy? I umm...," she starts to say but hears someone inside. "No I'm not busy, come in, I want you to meet someone," he grabs her arm and pulls her in, like he's afraid she's going to slip away. "Who?" she asks, voice full of curiosity.

Jared doesn't answer, he just pushes her in and then a watches as she introduces herself and shake hands with Sharon. Then they talk and laugh like old friends as she helps his mama with the cooking. Sharon looks up from the casserole tray and her eyes connect with his.

He knows what she means, but he's not sure if he's ready.

By the time Sharon is leaving, it's two days later and she has to fly back to Texas, they're at the airport and she has agreed to come along because Sharon is her new friend and she says she loves the woman to bits. Jared kisses and hugs his mama, tells her to take care and call him.

Sharon rolls her eyes and nodsand says that she's the mother, not him and laughs. Then Sharon turns to face her and she smiles. "It was nice getting to know you," she says and hugs her. "Yeah you too,"

His mama sighs and turns to him and her face turns soft and she pretends to not acknowledge to relationship. "Take care of your girlfriend, she's really something,". And just like that, she turns around and leaves, leaving him speechless.

They don't talk much on the drive home, occasionally it's just a 'yeah' and a 'hmmm' but that's all, she's just staring out the window, silence taking over awkwardly. He turns up the music in the hopes of it drowning out his thoughts. "So umm... why did your mother call me your girlfriend?"

Jared looks at her. This was the question he wanted her to ask. So he could tell her everything. He opens his mouth and snaps it shut. "I don't know... I think she thought that we were a couple," he smiles and she laughs. "Yeah.. well... we're pretty close anyways,". He nods because it's true but he wants the words that's been choked back for so long to come out.

But they don't.

"Hey let's go out today, you know... before I leave I want to spend time with my closest friends," she says as she looks out his window. "Where do you want to go?" Jared asks as he buttons on a shirt when he comes downstairs. "I don't know... anywhere,"

"Anywhere huh?"

"Anywhere,"

So they end up in one of the corner shops, eating ice cream in the car. He asks her about San Diego and she says there's about a week until she leaves, that she's excited to go but she'll miss him so so much. She makes this cute sad face that makes his heart ache.

He doesn't want to forget her and he's pretty sure that he can't. Jared looks at her and tries to memorize every detail of her, her smile, the way she laughs, the shape of her lips and her eyes. Goddamn, she's so beautiful and it makes this hurt a little more.

"I have a confession to make," she says and laughs at herself. His heart leaps a little. "Don't laugh at me okay?" she warns him and he smiles and nods faithfully. "When I first met you, I thought I was in love with you, I mean.. I was in love with you,"

And there it is, her little confession out in the air that doesn't do much but make him analyze every word she says, like the use of past tense and mostly that she was in love with him and he has been too blind to see it. "You.. what?"

"I was in love with you at one stage of our friendship,"

"So you're not anymore?" he asks and feels the ice cream drips down his wrist and he hates it when that happens but this time he doesn't care and he just lets it as he watches her look down at her own ice cream like it held the key to everything.

She doesn't answer.

A week later, he's in bed, hungover and so tired from drinking and acting all depressed when he really isn't, he's just in a state of confusion that doesn't allow him to function properly. He sits up in bed, full and alert when he remembers she's leaving today.

Jared doesn't want to drop her off at the airport and watch her leave because he knows it'll be hard not to break down and cry. But he showers, puts on fresh clothes and grabs a quick breakfast before driving over to her house.

He gets out of the car and takes in his surroundings again because he knows this will be the last time that he comes here again. She steps off her porch and lingers there, watching him as the suitcase she's holding stops at her feet. She smiles. "Ready?"

He nods yes and loads all her stuff in the back before they drive to the airport and it's all a blur, then he finds himself on standing next to her, his elbow brushing her arm and he thinks how much he'll miss this feeling. The lady over the intercom tells them it's her flight. He wants it to be a mistake.

It isn't. Because she's pulling her bag with her and he's walking beside her, hands shoved deep in his pockets. She reaches the place where they're supposed to say their goodbyes and turns to him. "This is it," she says in a quiet, wispy voice. "Yeah I guess it is,". It doesn't have to be.

"Bye Jare, I'll miss you, don't be a stranger, you can come visit... you can call me," she says and he nods quickly because he's afraid if he goes any slower he'll start crying. She stands on her toes and throws her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek. "I'll miss you so much," he breathes.

"Yeah I will too.. take care okay?" she says and she's crying softly against his shoulder. Jared remains silent and she pulls away and pats his chest and mouths a last goodbye and walks into that hall, and the words come out but only when it's too late.

"I love you,"

46 Supernatural 'Hell House' Capspam 320x180

2007-10-03T01:07:06Z

Hell House Caps (because it's one of my favourite episodes)

Dean's face^ *drools and Sammy sleeping. :DDD

Look at the glee on his face^

Faces!!!!!^

Sammy getting pissed^

I LOVE THAT FACE^

Dean's lips.................

I just had to add this! It's TOO funny.

AHAHAHHAHA THEIR FACES!

And oh, the three stooges.

abcdeklejsk sdsfjsfsfsdmfkdsdjskdhfsl^^^

Lip porn^

Love Dean in these caps but the second one, look at Sam's face. SO ADORABLE.

Ahah they look tiny in that third one.

Sam looks so lost and the second one where you can see really nice features of Jensen.

Faces^ when the two ghost hunters tell them about the EMF. I love how Sam just plays along.

So cute! With the books and I love his hair there.
That's all because something wrong with uploading. Hope you enjoyed.
screencap-paradise (resized and coloured)

20 Hell House SPN Icons

2007-09-30T08:33:31Z

[ 20 'Hell House' SPN icons]
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Supernatural/ Supernatural Quote Icons/Smallville/Veronica Mars/Grey's Anatomy

2007-09-28T09:09:13Z

[14 SN/Jared icons]
[8 Supernatural Quote Icons]
[16 Smallville Icons]
[6 Veronica Mars Icons]

Supernatural/Jared





Supernatural Quote Icons



Smallville





Veronica Mars

The O.C icons

2007-09-26T05:11:52Z

[ 37 O.C icons ]

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xcomment if take
xenjoy!

bitchxjerk @ 2007-09-20T18:58:00

2007-09-20T09:07:36Z

title: It's Raining Again

author: bitchxjerk

rating: PG-13 (some swearing)

genre: angst

pairing: jared/you

disclaimer: all fiction.

summary: rain, confessions, mixed CD's and something you'll never forget.

music: Does He Love You- Rilo Kiley
Copyright>>

It's Raining Again,

It's fucking raining. And there's thunder and lightning. It has not been a good day at all. Because you've just gotten turned down for 3 roles in one day and it's either because you don't fit for the role, or someone better came in. All that shit. It's kind of fucked really if you think about it. And it's fucking rainy, just to end the day off. You're walking to Jared's house, because you can't be bothered running, because running in the rain because you're scared of getting wet is for idiots, in the end, you get wet anyways.

You reach his house and it's this large place tucked in a court, you ring the doorbell and moments later he opens the door, rambles on about how you're going to get sick and closes the door behind you, then gets you some towels and dries you off, rubbing the fluffly white towel up and down your arms and ruffling your hair up. He cares for you alot, actually more than he should, and you guys are just friends.

Before you know it, the coffee is on the boil and Jared is sitting opposite to you, staring at you with a steady green gaze. You look up and he smiles. You feel awkward all of a sudden because you're still damp and when you got into the house you were dripping water everywhere and because whether you wanted to admit it or not, there's awkward tension between the two of you and you're scared to think sexual tension because that might be overstating it a little and plus you guys are just friends.

"So why'd you come here?" he asks. Jared's not usually that straight forward and it was strange but you answer him anyway. "Have you been out Jare? It's pouring like cats and dogs and it's thundering and lightning," you roll your eyes and realises that you don't even know why you came here in the first place. God, it's so stupid. Stupid, stupid. You never seem to make the right decision or the right move, or never saying the right things.

"So you came here?" Jared probes, small smile on his face. You feel like you're in interrogation, not that you've ever been in one but you're quiet sure this is what it feels like, nerve racking and weird, but this nerve-racking and weird didn't feel bad, in fact.. it felt..... good. "Yeah I mean... yeah.. sorry__". "No I was just asking, since it's late and it just seems a little weird, since you're closer to Jensen and everything,"

"Oh," is all you manage to say because you didn't realise that it looked like that from his point of view, that you're closer to Jensen when you think you're actually was closer to Jared. "Really? Does it seem that way?... because I thought I was closer to you," you say and he looks up at you quickly, like it's something he always wanted to hear it or something like that. "You think so?"

"Well that's what I thought," You shrug and shift uncomfortably in the seat because your damp dress still sticking to your skin and your hands feel clammy. "Oh I didn't realise that.. but we are close friends right?" Jared asks and you nod a few times and say something like 'hmmmyeah'. "Your hand is shaking, are you cold?" he informs and touches your hand and you swear silently because it's not because you're fucking cold, it's because of him and they way he makes you feel. Isn't fucking obvious already? Everytime I'm around you I shake goddammit.

But he doesn't seem to see it and you don't think he'll ever realise it and you think back the time where he caught you staring at him while the two of you were hanging out with Jensen and a friend of yours, he'd look into your eyes and smile and ask if there was something on his face. Then there was the other time, you joked and said that you liked him and he didn't take it seriously. But really you had meant it.

"No.. not cold.. just... ummm... nothing," you clear your throat, swear at yourself some more at the way you stumble your way across words. "Do you like Jensen?" Jared asks you out of nowhere after a moment of silence. "What? Me? Liking Jensen? No.. we're just really good friends that's all and.... why are you asking me this?" you stammer. "Because I don't know... I just wanted to know,"

You fall into silence again and you hate it because when it's silence it's so awkward that it kills and you don't know what to say that's right. "Jared.... do you like me?" you ask and you bite down on your lip because that was a bad move, you made the wrong decision to even ask and you never say the right things and you wish you didn't say it because he's looking at you in surprise with his mouth kind of open and you don't want him to answer because you're scared of what he's going to say. "Actually.. don't answer that," you say before he could reply to you. Silence. Again. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He probably thinks you're weird now, he's probably thinking that right this____

"Yeah," he says quietly and cuts you off your thoughts and you're kind of confused for a moment, tangling all his words up until you figure out what he really means. "Wait...what do you mean?" you ask, to make sure if you heard wrong because if you say you like him too and you heard wrong, it would be added to one of your collection of fuck ups. "I like you," he says, straight out and you feel kind of weird for a moment, like you have no legs and that you're underwater or something. In other words, you feel choked for words.

Because you've been waiting for this moment ever since you've met him, and now it's here, he's said it, but you're just staring at him, vision all wobbly and unclear. "Really?" you say and kind of regret it, but you're dumfounded and so amazed. "Yeah.. kind of stupid to admit..since you like someone else.." Jared looks down with his hands, fidgets like he does when he's nervous and bites his lip. "You've got it all wrong," you say casually as possible although it's kind of hard to breathe and you're shaking like a fragile leaf in the wind.

"What do you mean?" he looks up and meets your gaze. "What I mean is.. I've liked you since for so long.. and I still do," you manage to say and feel proud because you confessed and that sounded so deep and so right. "Oh I thought you liked Jensen all along," Jared says and scratches the back of his head. "Well you were wrong," you smile and sit back in your seat but the cold presses against your back so you lean forward again.

"Yeah I guess I was," he answers, eyes shining, shaggy brown hair falling into his eyes and he smiles, smiles until it hurts. "Hey I gotta get going, you're right.. it's really late," you say and stand up, you don't want to leave because you want to stay and talk about feelings, about corny things that only he would understand but really, it's getting late and you're starting to miss your warm bed as much as you miss his touch on your skin.

"Hey... wait," Jared stops you in your tracks, you turn around. "Yeah?" you say but your voice is croaky and your throat is dry. "I made this for you, I was planning to give you it for your birthday but I never got to, I gave you the voucher instead because I didn't think this was appropiate," he says and digs through his CD collection and hands you a CD case. You look at it for a moment and theres a cover with you on it but your back is turned so all you can see is the sun shining down on you and your hair flying everywhere. "Did you take this?" you ask.

He nods and smiles sheepishly and you laugh because you never knew he was a good photographer. You look back at the CD cover again and there's Jared's scrawl on the back of it. Thanks for being an amazing friend, Jared. You smile. "Thanks... it means alot to me... this.." you say and hold the case against your chest. "It's okay... I really do like you, you know?" he sighs softly and places a hand on your shoulder. You nod yes, tell him you feel the same too but he says he might as well even love you and you don't say anything. You just melt right there.

"Alright.. I gotta.. go.. it's late___," you cut yourself off when you remember you already said it before, but it's not really your fault, those eyes of Jared's can make you forget every single word in the English language. "Yeah... sorry about everything.. I mean I gotta figure this thing out I mean.. if it's right, if I should let go of Sandy," he swallows and you nod and tell him that it's okay, that he can take as long as he wants but really it's not okay.

You open the door and the cold greets you again and it seems to say hello with a wave of the wind and you step down the porch one by one when his voice stops you. "Hey you might need this," he jogs up to you and wraps a jacket around your shoulder, it's big and you seem drown in it. "Thanks," you smile as you adjust it around yourself then he says goodbye and that you should take care and closes the door.

You finally step off the porch and the rain slows into a drizzle, you tug the jacket around your neck and you smell his scent lingering on the jacket and that's kind of enough for this cold night. You look up at the sky, then you make a mental note to buy an umbrella.

bitchxjerk @ 2007-09-09T18:14:00

2007-09-09T08:18:08Z

[ 8 Heroes Icons]
[ 10 Sophia Bush at TCA 07 Icons]

bitchxjerk @ 2007-09-02T15:26:00

2007-09-02T05:31:10Z

11 Candice Swanepoel
8 Grey's Anatomy (Meredith and Cristina)

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[CANDICE]





[G.A]

bitchxjerk @ 2007-09-01T09:54:00

2007-09-01T00:11:00Z

[ 12 SN Icons]
[11 Lauren Conrad at TCA 07 Icons]
[ 8 Hayden Panettierre Icons]

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HAYDEN



LAUREN




SN

bitchxjerk @ 2007-08-27T14:35:00

2007-08-27T05:35:26Z

[6 Mischa Barton Icons]
[9 Jared/Sandy Icons]
[ 18 Grey's Anatomy Icons: Episode, Enough Is Enough]

x Credit if use
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x Enjoy

Mischa Barton



Jared/Sandy




Grey's Anatomy. Episode 2, Season Two: Enough Is Enough

bitchxjerk @ 2007-08-13T17:09:00

2007-08-13T07:10:41Z

My Personal Journal
please friend me here :)

bitchxjerk @ 2007-08-12T13:22:00

2007-08-12T03:25:29Z

[ 12 Alona Tal Icons]

Jared Padalecki/Lauren Conrad

2007-08-12T00:50:43Z

[ 13 Lauren Conrad Icons ]
[ 22 Jared Padalecki Icons ]